


the sky is falling off the ceiling

by frankieroed



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6664510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frankieroed/pseuds/frankieroed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon wasn’t very good at being constant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the sky is falling off the ceiling

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a lil drabble i wrote for someone. i dont usually write panic! so sorry if it's shit lmao
> 
> title from panic! at the disco's she's a handsome woman

Brendon wasn’t very good at being constant.

He liked to be everywhere, at all times. He liked listening to Mozart then immediately switching to Iron Maiden, then to Morrissey. He liked learning new things on every instrument he knew every other day. Maybe that was why he enjoyed writing so much. He liked cheese on his cookies and sprinkles on his chicken and he _loved_  having a friend group so large and various it took him everywhere and back home again.

What he didn’t like was falling apart sporadically. He didn’t like seeing his reflection, eyes crazy and hair messed out of shape. He didn’t like the stomachaches, the headaches, the heartaches. He didn’t like feeling vulnerable and exposed the moment someone he knew showed some sort of resentment towards him or his actions and he _hated_ feeling as alone as he did.

Which is why he found comfort in Ryan.

Ryan was constant. Ryan was stable (enough) and Brendon fucking reveled in it.

Every night he found himself clinging to the mattress to stop himself from falling through the bottom of the bus, through the earth and directly into his own fucking grave, Ryan would crawl into his bunk despite Brendon’s venomous words, hissed and injecting directly through Ryan’s skull and into his brain.

He would just sigh and adjust the two so Brendon’s head rested on his on of his boney knees and his calloused fingers could card through Brendon’s stage slick hair. Eventually, Brendon’s knuckles would turn from white back to the original shade of pink and the knots in his back would unravel as would the ones in his hair. Once his head would come back out from the noisenoisenoise, he would hear Ryan’s constantconstantconstant voice, lulling his heart rate back to a reasonable speed (something legal in a school zone) and allowing the red smoke in his brain vent out.

Most of the time, Ryan wouldn’t even be saying anything. None of that ‘you’ll be okay’ and ‘just breathe’ shit because he knows, _he knows,_ just how fucking mad that makes Brendon. He won’t be okay and he can’t breathe when he’s forgotten how to fucking blink.

Most of the time, it’s just words. Ryan telling him that Canada is the second largest country next to Russia, Ryan telling him that rodents breed every two to three weeks, Ryan telling him that in sheep the normal birthing number is two, Ryan telling him Pluto was discovered in 1931, Ryan telling him Pearl Harbor was attacked on December 7th 1941, Ryan telling him everything he knew in that pretentious voice, just Ryan.

Afterwards, Brendon would always get himself up and cling to Ryan because he was _his_ and no one else’s and he was _Ryan._ Ryan would hold on twice as hard because he cared, he cared so fucking much, and he never, ever, liked seeing Brendon lifeless. 

Ryan would leave him alone in his bunk to collect the private pieces of himself that he wouldn't even let Ryan see and Ryan respected that. That was one of the reasons Brendon loved him.

When he rose again, out flicking Jon’s hair and climbing all over Spencer, he and Ryan would share these secret smiles, unspoken words.

_Are you okay now?_

_Take time, that’s all we’re giving you_

_Stay here for me. With me._

_Don’t think about it_

_I love you_

And Ryan would laugh loudly, act aggressive and show off because all Brendon needed was thatthathat. He needed a constant force. He needed Ryan.

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos/criticism encouraged. please let me know if you liked it and i might write some more in this pairing ??
> 
> find me at deadricky.tumblr.com and talk to me about frank iero's facial hair


End file.
